21:25 

Pre-Internet Fangirls

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gallifreyan buccaneer
Что-то давно я не распространяла ничего хорошего здесь, поэтому закину цитату из мемуаров Дарроу. Его чувство юмора ещё всё же продлевает мне жизнь.

Once upon a time, I was appearing in Hull. Well, somebody has to!
Approaching the theatre one night in my MG sports car - those were the days - I was flagged down by our stage manager.
‘Park at the front, in the theatre manager’s space,’ she cried. ‘There’s a nutter at the stage door telling everyone she wants to have your baby.’
I duly complied.
Apparently, a young lady had parked herself outside the stage door at six o’clock in the morning and remained there all day in the hope of encountering me and expressing her desire, previously referred to. You have to admire her tenacity.
But she would not go away and an anxious theatre management was at a loss as to what to do. There was nothing for it. She had to be confronted.
Flanked by two tough management employees - I’m not one to take unnecessary risks - we opened the stage door and there she stood.
The young lady froze. It was as if she had been turned into stone.
‘They didn’t kill you?’ she managed to whisper.
Who did she think I was?
‘Did you really think they could?’ I replied, assuming my Avon persona.
‘Of course not,’ she said. ‘Did they tell you about me?’
‘Yes, they did.’
My two bodyguards flexed their muscles.
‘You can do anything you want with me,’ the lady said.
‘I heard that’
‘I want to have your baby.’
‘That’s a little tricky. I’m married.’
‘Oh, I thought you were divorced?’
A bodyguard decided to get in on the act. ‘Paul’s been married to Janet for a long time. Janet’s a personal friend of mine. They’re a great couple.’
The young lady appeared to be quite forlorn. ‘I’m very sorry,’ she said at last.
‘That’s okay,’ said I, ever one to try and cheer up a sad situation. ‘Have you seen the show?’
‘No, but I’d love to.’
‘No problem. I’ll arrange a ticket for you.’
Her eyes lit up. ‘Thank you.’
I did as I promised and my bodyguards and I congratulated each other on our success at soothing the young lady’s savage breast, to coin a phrase.
That night, my friend Matthew Corbett, of Sooty fame, was in the audience. After the show, he stormed into my dressing room.
‘There’s a lunatic woman out there who insisted on sitting next to me,’ he spluttered. ‘She spent the whole of the second act telling me she wanted to have your baby!’
I poured him a large drink.
‘She says she can’t go through with it,’ he added.
‘Well, that’s all right then.’
‘Trouble is, because she’s decided she can’t have you, I think she’s transferred her affections to me!’
I laughed. Matthew didn’t think it was at all funny. He got his own back. We sneaked out of the theatre and he treated me to a curry. I threw up all night.
The young lady was never heard of again and I never went back to the curry restaurant. Matthew survived and has lived happily ever after.

@темы: дарроу

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Комментарии
2014-06-10 в 01:58 

emuna12345
"Не сотвори меня крылатым"(с)
Мог бы и согласиться. Такой генофонд пропал

2014-06-20 в 14:12 

Lileo
Тесен мой мир. Он замкнулся в кольцо.(с)
Какая прелесть! :D

Пол очень храбрый человек. И очень терпимо относится даже к самым сумасшедшим фанаткам.
Думаю, та девушка потом оценила его вежливость и такт.

А вообще да, мог бы и сдать биоматериал в какой-нибудь генетический банк. Думаю, многие захотели бы иметь от него детей.))

   

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